02-3-Build Win-Win

Build Win-Win

pencilIn this sub-unit we deal with how to communicate or leverage a positive attitude or win-win approach.


The challenge of this part of our training is to learn how to not only have a positive attitude and practice the principle of win-win, but also to leverage these skills down in the hierarchy of your company so that many people can benefit from them.

Let me first recall what I mean when I talk about a positive attitude and a win-win approach in relationships. Much has been written about positive thought and a positive approach to life. Let me simply state it that way: A positive attitude is a creative attitude in the sense that the status quo is not perceived as un-changing or stagnant, but as a forum of evolution. A positive attitude is to see the glass which is half filled with water as a half glass of water. A negative attitude sees the same glass as a glass that is half empty. That’s the basic difference. It’s the way we look at life, the way we evaluate life. Behind our evaluation there is an inner scale on which we measure. This inner measure is our attitude that per se is either positive or negative or else is something in between the two extremes. You may have observed that human beings are very different in this respect. In general, in this world and in our times, there are many more negative than positive people.

We already have dealt with how to change our inner script. Therefore I will concentrate now on the question of how to leverage a positive attitude, a win-win approach toward others. This namely depends on how we are communicating our inner values to others. We do this all the time, but few of us do it consciously.

The first step is the firm intention to irradiate positive values at the outside level. We must have built up a sufficiently high amount of self-esteem and inner conviction in the validity of our inner orientation. In recognizing our difference and building a profound respect for life and other beings, we can get there.

There are three practical steps as to how to communicate inner strength and values to others:

  • Read your vision statement once or twice every day;
  • Practice active and uncompromising forgiveness;
  • Search always for synergy with others, despite differences.

With regard to formulating your personal vision statement, I refer to the previous step.

Practicing forgiveness is essential, not only for those among us who read the scriptures and apply them in their lives. You are free to believe or not, but you can’t alter universal laws. There is a law that says when you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven. However, if you forgive you’ll be forgiven. Can you say that you are perfect all the time? How to learn forgiveness if we’ve applied another paradigm since now? Can it be learned? Yes, it can.

How to search for synergy? First by recognizing differences. I am different from you because I live in the world of my own mind’s creation. You too. We all do. Recognizing that fact opens the door to truthful communication which is based on that difference between us and, essentially, on respect.

The second step after recognizing differences is to practice humility which means to be tolerant and to respect all-that-is. In you and in me. If I can accept your difference, I can accept mine. And vice versa.

Now the third step after respecting another is even more proactive. It’s to search a fusion of our energies in carrying out a desired common goal, be it personal or in business or a humanitarian goal or whatever goal that we would like to achieve together. It’s to have that basic willingness to look beyond the wall of our differences and to see where the points are that deeply link us and where we can walk on in order to achieve that goal. This is synergy, to walk together on one path, toward that goal.

Now I don’t say we must achieve synergy. Because it’s the action of more than one, at least two people. So if the other really and deeply refuses it, it’s their freedom to do so. Therefore I say search for synergy, try to achieve it by communicating your openness and desire for synergy to the other. It’s an option, a proposal. But you will be astonished in how many cases such a sincere proposal will be accepted and take fruits! And in how many cases it will remove mistrust, in how many cases it will dissolve resentment, in how many cases it will open the door to a true win-win agreement.

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