A Tutorial for Overcoming Abuse
When you are physically, emotionally or sexually abusive in your overall behavior, then the reason is that your power is not integrated, that it is scattered, causing you frequent or even ongoing depressions.
Let me first clarify that true soul power never is abusive. This is exactly where it differs from worldly powers. Worldly power is easily abused because it’s not based on spiritual awareness, and attention to detail. By contrast, soul power is always integrated in your soul reality, and embedded in your spiritual unity and uniqueness. When you recognize your being abusive in one or the other way, you know that your power is not soul power because soul power can’t be abusive.
I will present to you six steps here for changing your inner power. You are actually going to change your self-image. This is an awareness process you can master without going through a whole therapy for healing your childhood hangups. All negative conditioning that originally led to your abusive behavior will be dissolved by your own vital energy flow, the flow of your emotional energy, directed by your consciousness. I see this as a 6-Step Process:
- 1) Accept Yourself;
- 2) Realize Your Love;
- 3) Face Your Now;
- 4) Make a Value Decision;
- 5) Take Action;
- 6) Affirm Your Identity
Human behavior cannot be rammed into people; only on the basis of acceptance, human behavior can be changed on a long-term basis. Without seeing what is, you cannot progress, and will eternally be stuck in your moralistic split that makes you deny the very reality of your suffering and its cause. As long as you stay with the inner dichotomy, the schizophrenic split of life in should be behavior and real behavior, you will be torn up in guilt and fear, and change will be blocked.
As paradoxical as it sounds, what is needed before change can come about is that you see the value in immorality or non-morality, and by the same token, the destructiveness of all and every morality! Liberated from the burden of moralistic trash in your mind and soul, you are able to look at yourself through the magic mirror of your own mind, and without beautifying anything you see there. That means you face yourself with all your pain, your suffering, your affliction, perverse needs and desires, your need for violence, your fear of free flow and accordingly, how you block the self-regulatory processes of your organism, which is ultimately the reason that you perpetuate the very problem or hangup that stands in the way of your evolution.
So you are going to look at yourself really through the mirror of your own consciousness; the miracle is that the pattern will change through this very regard, once you put your full emotional flow into this internal focus, into this introspection of your inner landscape, facing your shadow without wavering.
Only on the basis of freedom true growth is thinkable and as long as you deny this freedom, which implies the option to choosing evil, you will not be able to choose anything and remain a slave of your inner complexes and the fatality of your conditioning. Only if you are able to consciously choose evil because you are free of the total falseness of so-called morality, you will be able to choose good!
Your inner shadow or demon, the very incarnation of the retrograde vital flow, will only collaborate in your healing and let you free if you let him free in the first place, and stop judging and condemning him with your shallow good-bad judgments that have absolutely no value and no validity in real life.
If you have the courage to initiate the first decisive step, the energy will go with you and you will see that every next sprocket in the process of your liberation will be easier than the previous one. When you can get to a point to view your affliction as a state of bondage, you will get a feel what I mean by liberation, and you will see that this is a process, not just a magic stroke that will change you from devil to angel. You are not a devil and you will not become an angel. Both devils and angels are inferior to human beings, because they cannot choose. They are destined to be either devils or angels, to either do bad or good, while the genius of the human being is the capacity to be both, and much more.
To initiate this process, we look at what is and not at what should be. If we see what is, we can as a result see why it is as it is. By contrast, if we ask what should be, we build an ideal that is different from the reality we are in, and we split ourselves in two: an observer and a dreamer. The observer sees what is, the dreamer longs for what should be. The first is a realist, the second an ideologist.
We will see ourselves in conflict soon since every decision we take will look different if we see it either from the realist’s side or from the ideologist’s side. This is the basic schizoid split most people suffer from who are reared in a fundamentally moralistic or idealistic educational paradigm. They can never be sure what really they hold true since they are, so to say, caught in ‘two truths.’ And that is why they generally speak with two tongues. They tend to argue like ‘Man is bad but God wants us to be good’ or ‘People are rude by nature but if they are Communist they turn to be caring people’ or ‘People are uneducated and bad but our great Theosophy renders them enlightened and good.’
All this is pure schizophrenia and shows the basic split humanity is suffering from since the moralistic worldview prevails. To become whole requires us to acknowledge this split and to face our sadistic drives and desires, our need to compensate for all the hurt we ourselves have suffered in early childhood. It requires us to face our inner wounds and become vulnerable again for feeling-with, for compassion, and thus develop empathy.
The next step, then, is to become aware where our need for violence is rooted in. When we observe pleasure, we see that its repression more or less automatically creates violence. Violence is a negative pleasure function in the sense that it comes about when pleasure is repressed. Our infantile need for body pleasure has been repressed to a large extent. Most of us, in childhood and youth, have been denied to engage in autoerotic play, and even more so have been denied free sexual relations with other children or adults. Instead, we perceived sexuality as the big taboo and the activity that is most dangerous to engage in while our bodies strongly asked for sex. Society made us believe that sexuality is bad while violence is good and thus conditioned us from childhood to accept violence as a poor ersatz for the lost paradise of body pleasure. In fact, society stole us our bodies during childhood, depriving us of the intrinsic feeling to own them, namely by having the autonomy to use them.
The distortion of perception that goes along with thwarting natural emotions in early childhood is the key for understanding why humans can be bought into denying themselves the most basic of fulfillment there is in life, love.
And it is because we ourselves were deprived in the first place of the freedom to develop our full emotionality in childhood that we deny it to our children and instead instill in them fear, suspicion and violence.
If we looked at things with an innocent eye and without any moralistic paradigm, we would naturally perceive that children are emotionally much more balanced than we other adults are. Naturally raised children are not only not sadistic, they are also, what counts even more, sexually not sadistic and thus achieve sexual fulfillment without threat and without violence.
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