The first important step you must take for the realization of emotional reflow and the dissolution of your abuse pattern is acceptance of your love and desire, and a clear decision to not repress it.
Repression does not lead anywhere, except to more repression. It is a way of going around a problem, not a way of solving it. Whatever your emotional and randomly sexual longings are, stay behind them and do not deny them. Instead, try to get away from all and every label that you see society attaches to your particular attraction and try to see the real beauty of your love!
Only you can be your advocate, once you are ready for it, once you have stopped being your own judge. Judging yourself is the worst you can do. It serves nobody. Instead, try to be every day a little more tolerant with yourself, a little more permissive, a little more understanding. When you stop considering your own attractions, and those of others, as an affliction, and begin to see everybody’s emotional predilections as a gift, as a blessing, then you start out to see the uniqueness in yourself and other humans – instead of seeing the standards imposed by an ignorant society.
Giving up repression also means to inquire into the messages we receive through dreams, from the unconscious realm. We do not always understand those messages, and perhaps not all dreams are messages. Dreams are certainly also destined to help us digest events, to overcome deep hurt and thus to favor inner healing as well as preparing and fostering change.
The beneficial effects of your regularly monitoring your dreams do not require you to understand their meaning. It is enough noting your dreams in a booklet, every morning, right after waking up, and from time to time reading through this booklet. Consider it as a collection of personal stories, dream stories, and read them with delight once in a while.
Even though you may consider some of them appalling because of frightening animals appearing, strange things happening or violence becoming staged, they represent an accurate reflection of your inner thoughts, your inner reality, at a precise point in time and space, and as such have to be taken serious.
Dreams are creative productions of our mind, and the language they speak forms part of our own symbolic language. Furthermore, dreams tell us at times things that we would never admit to ourselves or that we always ignored. They reveal a part of our truth. By integrating the messages of our dreams, our thinking becomes more holistic, more true, and our actions will be more authentic. You will also see that dreams reveal to you how secure or insecure you are with regard to your love choices. Do you accept your love? Or do you fight it? Do you try to go around it or cover it up? Do you distract yourself in order not to think about it?
All these questions are reflected upon in your dreams, and the answers you get from them may be confused or clear. When you are confused, your dreams will show confusion; when your choices are clear, you will have clear and straightforward dreams.
You may wonder why you should get feedback from your dreams? I do not say that you cannot do without it, but it surely is one important tool for self-knowledge. It is a tool among others. If you do not feel like exploring your dream world, you do not have to! But it is certainly true that you can advance faster in the realization of your goals when you really know what you want.
Life is responsive. It guides us, it helps us to acquire self-knowledge, and this, as I said, not only through dreams but also in daily life. But this feedback depends also on our clarity of mind, or more precisely put, on the clarity of our wishes. If your desires are confused and mixed with guilt and shame, there is a chance that you will find this very confusion in your mind reflected in the outside world, and you will build confusion into your relationships, which is the deeper meaning behind triangular relations. If you are not sure what you want and should want, you will get both, but in a way that is problematic.
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